Difficult Conversations

Greetings, fellow scribblers! Drama and conflict are the bread and butter of our trade, but today, on the toolbox, we’re looking at ways to limit both.

What should you do when managing the writers' room or production team involves engaging in difficult conversations?

Whether resolving conflicts between scribblers, addressing inappropriate language, or discussing contract terminations, effective and empathetic communication is critical.

Syd Field and Robert Mckee left the topic out of their books, so I’m sharing tried-and-true techniques for handling challenging situations:

DON’T BE SCARED; BE PREPARED

Know the Facts: Before entering any difficult conversation, ensure you have all the facts straight. This will help you present your case clearly and respond to any counter-arguments with honest authenticity.

Set an Agenda: Know what you want to achieve from the conversation. Having a clear objective will help you stay focused when the roller coaster gets twisty.

Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing and setting can impact the outcome of a conversation where conflict might ensue. If you asked for the meeting, don’t do it in your office! When to wrap up and move on can be critical. Pick a neutral spot and a time when both parties can focus.

DURING THE CONVERSATION

Be Direct but Tactful: Clearly state the issue without beating around the bush, but use tactful language to avoid triggers that might escalate the situation.

Active Listening: Give the other person a chance to speak and listen actively. This will show respect and may provide valuable insights you weren’t aware of.

Use "I" Statements: Frame the conversation in terms of your own observations and feelings to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, "I've noticed that the language being used in the writers' room has been inappropriate," instead of "You've been using inappropriate language."

Be Empathetic: Try to understand the situation from the other person's perspective. This can help you find a mutually agreeable solution.

Stay Calm: Emotions can run high during difficult conversations. Maintain your professional composure to keep the discussion productive.

RESOLVING THE CONFLICT

Find Common Ground: If the conversation involves resolving a conflict, try to find points of agreement or shared goals as a basis for compromise.

Offer Constructive Feedback: When discussing issues like inappropriate language or behavior, offer constructive feedback on how the individual can improve rather than just pointing out faults. This can be supported if your workplace has clear dos and don’ts regarding what’s acceptable.

Set Boundaries and Expectations: Clearly outline what is expected moving forward and what the consequences will be for not meeting these expectations.

CLOSURE AND FOLLOW-UP

Summarize and Confirm: Emotions can cloud memory. Before ending the conversation, summarize the key points and any agreed-upon actions. This will ensure everyone is on the same page regarding the next steps.

Document the Conversation: Keep a record of what was discussed and any agreed-upon actions. This can be useful for future reference or if further action is required. If you’re a manager delivering HR-level feedback, company policy will often require a witness to be present.

Follow-up: Check in after a while to see how things progress. Don’t wait too long. This shows you’re committed to resolving the issue and provides an opportunity for further feedback from everyone involved.

Every production I’ve ever been a part of had a singular culture defined by the attitude and style of the showrunner, senior producer, or director in charge. None of them were identical. Some were more nurturing than others. A few might be characterized as confrontational. Others, politcal.

You need to be adaptable to your environment without compromising your ethics, morals, or decency. Be honest. Be human.

And if you’re at the top of the food chain, be cognizant of your role in defining the culture. (See my post: Showrunner 101)

The one thing I’ve learned to bank on is that managing a diverse team of creative individuals will always be a complicated and emotional task.

I wish I’d had these techniques in my toolbox when I moved from humble scribbler to neophyte manager. I hope they help you keep your production productive and your team culture harmonious.

You got this!